Listen

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I
shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do some-
thing to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that
may seem.

Listen! All I asked was that you listen,
not talk or do–just hear me.
Advice is cheap: ten cents will get you
both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same paper

And I can do for myself;I’m not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can
and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact that
I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince
you and can get about the business
of understanding what’s behind
this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are
obvious and I don’t need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we
understand what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes,
for some people
because God is mute, and he doesn’t
give advice or try to fix things.

“They” just listen and let you work it
out for yourself.

So, please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn;
and I’ll listen to you.

PYD Tip:

Do not anticipate what is being said,
Focus, show respect, be attentive.
Make sure you hear what is being said.
Be a better friend